yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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