you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
