Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
