her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
