ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize