I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
