I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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