i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
