Whod you bang
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
