Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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