my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
