Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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