Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
