A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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