..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
