i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
