the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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