Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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