The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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