So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
