So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
