you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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