3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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