I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize