youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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