who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
