whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
