According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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