Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
