I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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