..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
