I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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