is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
