i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
