Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize