South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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