All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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