Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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