# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want to make a zoo with you.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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