guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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