Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
