My sheets look like a crime scene.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
