I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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