How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize