I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pappa wants mamma naked
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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