can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
