I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
