This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
