went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
