apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
