Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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