In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
