maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
