Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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