4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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