u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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