you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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