Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
