I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
