Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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